Welcome back to this series where we examine some of the questions I’ve been asking myself for the last several months about Divorce Ministry 4 Kids. A couple of days ago, we looked at “Why Divorce Ministry 4 Kids?” Yesterday we asked, “Why Now for Divorce Ministry 4 Kids?” Today, we will tackle the question that I have probably spent the most time thinking about: Why You? Put another way, Why am I getting involved in this ministry in the first place?
I wrestled with this question maybe more than any other. Why would God choose me for this ministry? My parents were not divorced. I am not divorced. Why, God, would you pick someone like me for a ministry like this? I asked that question many times. It just didn’t make sense. How could I relate to these kids or their parents? I felt a little bit like Moses (not much, I mean He was called by God to lead a nation out of slavery, God just wanted me to work with children of divorce). But, I could relate to Moses’, “I think you’ve got the wrong guy” mentality. In my heart though I knew God doesn’t make wrong decisions, and the question wasn’t really why me but why not me.
That said, I’d like to share two moments of clarity that really got me past the “why me” mindset. The first was while I was doing some research on the impact of divorce on children. Study after study and article after article was packed full of interesting and heartbreaking statistics. Then, I came across an article that explained that the divorce of a child’s parents oftentimes impacts them worse than the death of a parent would. Wow! There was something I could relate to. My own mother died right after I turned seven. I know that feeling. I know the mourning and the loss and the longing and the wondering and the questioning and the what ifs that go along with that. As I began to process the idea that over one million children each year experience an emotional devastation worse than the one I had lived with much of my live, I knew that I had to do something.
There was still a problem though – I wasn’t entirely sure where God wanted to take me. I began to pray about it and continued to research options. Did God want me to start a local ministry in my church for children of divorce? Perhaps, and I still haven’t ruled this out. But, in talking to several friends, I began to feel like God was calling me to something more than just a local ministry. For the last couple of years, I have been blessed to become part of an online community writing about children’s ministry. Where better to minister to these kids than in the existing children’s ministries in churches all over the world. There is definitely a need special divorce care programs for children, but there is an overwhelming need to educate and edify children’s ministry workers to deal with and minister to these children. As God began to solidify those thoughts in my head, I became convinced, more than ever, that that is what he was calling me to – to help children’s ministers, children’s pastors and children’s ministry volunteers (as well as the larger church body) to minister to children of divorce.
I have already been blessed by God to make the acquaintance of several people who I consider “experts” in the field of children of divorce. I have learned, and will continue to learn, from them (as well as the research I am doing) about working with children of divorce. My goal is to take that knowledge and share it with others so that we can all learn from one another and work towards the common goal of sharing Jesus with children of divorce and allowing Him to comfort them.