Archives For linda

imageSingle parents are hard working people. Basically they are doing the job of two people. This is especially true if there has been a death in the family or if there is no other parent on the scene. They could be parenting alone due to death, desertion or a never married situation.

Sometimes the other parent will live in another part of the country or they have no interest in staying connected to their child. Other single parents who are divorced share custody with the other parent. Even though they share custody, having the sole responsibility in your own home is still difficult.

Single Parent Day is March 21st. This day doesn’t get as much attention as the regular Mother’s Day or Father’s Day and yet it is a very important day for many single parents.

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imageIn my area of the country, it is officially spring break time. By that, I mean all the college kids are coming to our area to enjoy the beaches and … well you know the rest … to party. In the news media when you hear about spring break, they are usually referring to college kids getting away or families taking a week off to enjoy some family time and a vacation. What about the kids of divorce though? What does spring break mean for them? When do they get to party and have a good time?

Sometimes spring break can mean heartache.

My mom is supposed to have me for spring break, but she said I couldn’t come to her house because she is taking a vacation with her boyfriend and his kids.

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imageRecently when I was doing some research about the brain I read that multitasking is a myth – your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. Most of us in the Kidmin world multitask. I have prided myself on multitasking for years and now I’m reading it’s not very productive. As I thought about this idea of multitasking a light bulb went off in my brain. Could this be one of the reasons kids of divorce might not function too well at various times?”

If your brain can only focus on one thing at a time, it might very well be why kids of divorce can’t concentrate at church, at school and other places that require concentration. To a child and their brain thinking about mom and or dad in two separate houses and being worried about their siblings, their pets, which parent is picking me up tonight might and where am I going to sleep might equate to multitasking.

When you look at the definition of multitasking on Wikipedia you’ll read, “Human multitasking is the apparent performance by an individual of handling more than one task at the same time.” Now I realize the researchers are saying by multitasking one is switching from one activity to another. You are probably going to say the kids are only doing one activity such as scripture memory or listening to a story on Sunday morning.

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imageParenting alone can be a tough journey when one doesn’t feel well. Most single parents will continue to go to work when they don’t feel well. They do this so they can save their sick days for when their child is sick so they can stay home with that child. But, what happens when the single mom or dad is really sick and they need help?

I know there were a few times in my single parent life when I got sick, but I never had to be hospitalized or face a life-threatening situation. I would like to think had that happened my church family would have stepped up and helped. But do churches do that for single parents?

pdf to share leftI know of one single mom that faced cancer. She had a four-year old child. During her cancer she came to know Christ as her Savior through our church reaching out to her. When she found out the cancer was terminal she reached out to our church and to me more than she called on her non-Christian family. Here are some things she liked for us to do: Continue Reading…

imageLosing a parent to death or to divorce is catastrophic for any child. There are different issues in the grief process between the death of a parent and death of your parent’s marriage.

When a child loses a parent due to death even young children can understand the concept that the body quit working. They all come across toys or things that break and quit working. Most have experienced the death of a pet, a goldfish or an insect they have found. While I’m not comparing the death of a goldfish to the loss and the grief involved in the death of a parent, the concept I want to convey is the idea of things no longer working. The goldfish’s body quit working. The toy quit working. The body of their parent quit working. That is the beginning of understanding the death of their parent.

pdf to share leftIn the death of a parent, other family members, the church, neighbors and possibly even the co-workers of the parent surround most families. Meals are brought in; gifts for the kids might be left. The remaining parent grieves and may weep and hug their child a lot. There is a lot of support and acknowledgment of the death. Ever so slowly the family develops a new normal and life moves forward.

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imageNationally the majority of divorcing families leave the church. Some might stay and in rare situations both partners try to stay involved in the same church. But for the most part after a divorce, the family fades away never to be seen at church again.

Some of the research on adult children of divorce shows that many children are almost as disappointed with the church for their lack of empathy and neglect as they were at the parent who left the home. What can a church do to help the divorcing single parent family stay connected to the church?

#1: Learn and understand what is going on in the family

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imageSince the 1970s, millions of children have been caught in the middle of the divorce wars. After the then Governor Ronald Reagan signed the No Fault Divorce decree divorce in 1969 divorce has been rampant. Most recently the divorce rate has slowed down but that might be because the co-habitation rate is up.

Adult children of divorce, you know those kids whose parents divorced back in the 70s and 80s, will tell you they don’t trust marriage so they choose to cohabitate. The problem with cohabitation is the children still suffer because most cohabitation situations eventually break up. And to the child it is still the death of the once intact relationship of their parents. Makes no difference to a child if it is called divorce or break up – it still hurts.

pdf to share leftIt is no wonder in Malachi 2:16 that God says He hates divorce. The heavenly Father knew what divorce would do to people. Continue Reading…

imageSingle parent gets depressed just thinking about the up and coming year. It has been a heavy burden just surviving this past year and now another one looms in front of them.

What can you do? How can you help? How do we minister to the single parent in a positive light and help them see the up and coming year as a transition year; a year where things are going to get better and they can draw closer to God, their children and others?

Describing a “transition year” to a single parent might go something like this: Continue Reading…

Divorce Ministry 4 Kids is now/

Hope 4 Hurting Kids

We are in the process of updating all articles and information from this site and moving them to their new home. 

You can find an updated copy of this article on Hope 4 Hurting Kids using this link.

They are amazing people too.

  • nativityThey have multi tasked since before it was popular. You know – laundry, help with homework and paying bills all at once while cooking dinner.
  • They texted before texting was even invented; only their texting was notes on the fridge everyday and sometimes two and three times a day.
  • They “outsourced” before large corporations knew anything about outsourcing by bringing in people to help them in emergency situations.
  • They have invested in “bonds” that have lifetime value. You know the bonding between a parent and child.
  • They face insurmountable odds and yet they keep right on keeping on.

Because of all of the above and more, the downloadable “Christmas Helps for Single Parents” booklet is dedicated to all of our single parent families and their friends.

I pray you find comfort and joy in reading through the devotions and articles.

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