I posted an article earlier in the week “Talking to Kids about the Tornado in OK” so I don’t want to repeat that information. I’d like to concentrate on talking to kids of divorce.
Kids of divorce are in general fearful after the divorce. After a parent moves out for some reason the children experience undue worry about their safety.
- They worry the parent they live with might leave them.
- They worry about the other parent if things are okay.
- They worry the divorce is their fault.
- They wonder if anyone will love them.
- Younger children worry if they will have enough to eat.
- Living through a severe storm or tornado seems to be scarier when only one parent is there.
The list goes on and on. Many adults that work with children of divorce don’t realize kids are experiencing all these fears. The other thing you might not realize is many children of divorce feel they have no one to talk to about these things.
A child might have one parent who will protect them from all the TV broadcasts. Perhaps they monitor the child’s Internet viewing also. The child goes to the other parent and the TV is on all the time. The child is allowed to be on the computer and scours the Internet for stories about kids in the tornado.
Internal fears flourish but they feel they can’t talk to either parent about their fears. They know they have betrayed the parent at the other home by spending a lot of time on the Internet and watching TV. They also don’t want to get into a discussion with the parent they are visiting about why they don’t get to watch TV at the other home. Confusion reigns.
Please take a few minutes to stop and minister to the child of divorce and find out what they know about the tornado in OK. If you live in a state that doesn’t have tornados, the questions may be few. If you live in a state that has tornados or hurricanes, the kids may want more information. Or they may just want to talk to an adult they can trust.
Linda Ranson Jacobs is one of the forefront leaders in the area of children and divorce. She developed and created the DivorceCare for Kids programs. DC4K is an international program for churches to use to help children of divorced parents find healing within the arms of a loving church family. As a speaker, author, trainer, program developer and child care center owner, Linda has assisted countless families by modeling and acting on the healing love she has found in Jesus Christ. Linda offers support, encouragement and suggestions to help those working with the child of divorce. She serves as DC4K Ambassador (http://www.dc4k.org) and can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can find additional articles from Linda on her blog at http://blog.dc4k.org/.
Free articles and devotions for single parent families in your church can be found at Linda’s website Healthy Loving Partnerships for Our Kids (http://www.hlp4.com).