Welcome back to our series on dealing with the emotional impacts of divorce on children. Thus far, we have looked at:
- Dealing With Kids’ Emotions In Divorce (An Introduction)
- Anger and the Child of Divorce
- Anxiety and the Child of Divorce
- Chaos and the Child of Divorce
- Confusion and the Child of Divorce
- Denial and the Child of Divorce
- Depression and the Child of Divorce
- Embarrassment and the Child of Divorce
- Fear and the Child of Divorce
Divorce is a loss for a child. It is a loss so tragic that, for many, it changes the entire trajectory of their lives. Studies have shown that the grief experienced by children when their parents divorce is greater than the grief experienced when a parent dies. I understand that grief, and the thought that so many kids each year are faced with that kind of grief because of the choice of one or both parents played a large part in starting Divorce Ministry 4 Kids. The grief experienced by children of divorce is heartbreaking in that it is experienced over and over again. In her book, The Switching Hour by Dr. Evon Flesberg, she explains:
“Unlike the couple that separates once, the child has repeated experiences of reuniting and separating. The leaving and grieving continue. For the children, each visit may reawaken the missing, the longing, and the hurt.”
No matter how well children seem to be adjusting, most children of divorce will grieve over the divorce of their parents. At Divorce Ministry 4 Kids, we have put together the following one page infographic on helping children of divorce deal with grief related to the divorce of their parents (click on the picture below for a full sized pdf version of the pamphlet). Please feel free to share this pamphlet with parents and others who work with children of divorce.
I agree completely! The emotions associated with divorce and life following divorce for children no matter what the age can be the toughest transition ever in life. Getting help and individual support for all concerned should be a priority and in my opinion divorce lawyers should insist on it. It was the lack of communication after divorce that inspired me to write my book ‘Single Parents Secrets to Effective Communication’.
There is need for the parents to involve children at times they make decision of wanting to divorce. Then they should know that what they have ended is the parental system not the parental responsibilty.